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| Dream2 |
[14 Jul 2008|05:58am] |
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mood |
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 aggravated |
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I woke up at 5:30 and just rolled out of bed, kind of erged at this. Excuse spelling and grammar mistakes, as it is early.
I had a dream last night, one that I haven't had in a long time. Or at least... I dunno. Probably a little more than a year and a half. And obviously the premise is new, but the basic idea was the same. I needed to go down to Miami for something. Maybe I was moving in, I don't know. I remember it was really, really early in the morning, pre-dawn, when I boarded the bus. At the bus station I met up with Emily, and was like "Oh wow, what are you doing here?". I was really happy, because her and I needed to do some catching up on stuff and it's a long ride to Miami (I never asked why she was going to Miami, it never crossed my mind). We got on the bus, and sat next to each other and started talking, and then she grabbed my hand. It gets a little hazy on the exact details, but we kiss and cuddle a lot for the next... while, before I woke up. Her hand was traveling down my pants when I did, lulz.
It was a really happy dream. But like, what the fuck? Come on, I need to get over that shit fast. Fuck you, brain.
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| Dreams |
[25 Jun 2008|10:36am] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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So since I'm not using this for anything else, I'll write about my dreams.
Last night I had two dreams, and some pretty weird themes. The first dream I remember, some really big event happened in the world, like a huge storm, and it destroyed a lot of civilization. I remember surviving it, and there were about 50 other survivors in my town. We all kind of hung out at a super market and stole. I remember going to the bank, since apparently one of the tellers survived, and he said everyone had taken their life savings out of the bank before the storm, and that a lot of the money has been destroyed. I got like $53.17 out of my bank, and people were gasping that I had that much money left. As my dream progressed, more and more people started showing up and life started going back to normal. I remember going to my high school's cafeteria, and a bunch of people being there eating some government issued breakfast.
The other significant dream I had was the last dream I had. It was really weird, almost like a fight dream. I remember watching this woman fight this guy who was supposed to be batman, and she got her ass kicked. I watched the tactics he used and when I fought him (which was next), I knew he would go for the keys in the drawers to get this syringe which apparently makes you into what almost looked like Tiny from DoTA. ( http://tn3-1.deviantart.com/fs19/300W/f/2007/227/5/1/Tiny_by_Hung2.jpg ). The only problem is that I'm afraid of needles, and self-infliction. However, I got the keys and the drawer before he did and when I got the syringe I just kind of sucked it up and stabbed myself in the thigh and pushed down. Unfortunately, I woke up after that.
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| Breakups. |
[03 Oct 2007|09:28pm] |
The worst kind of break ups are the ones where neither of you want it. I can handle breakups if she just doesn't like me anymore... or if I did something wrong, or whatnot, but that's not what happened this time.
There are so many sacrifices that need to be made in a relationship in order to ensure the other persons happiness... but the biggest one, the worst one, is always the saddest.
I'm sorry. There's nothing I could have done, and I wish there were... because I miss you already.
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| Fucking. |
[27 Sep 2007|03:45pm] |
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mood |
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bitchy |
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No, it's not enough to be harassed every day because you're dating her. No, we have to convince her to be mean to you, too. Oh, I wonder if he'll be pissed if I hold her hand down the hall, that'll really get him steaming. What was that? Why are you so mean to him? Oh, because I can. Because my life is so fucking terrible, that I'm going to make fun of you for things I used to do, or, worse, make fun of you for things and then do them after you.
Aren't I just the biggest asshole ever?
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[13 Jul 2007|03:14pm] |
[ Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<size=+3>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] <size=+3>I PASSED.
I FUCKING PASSED AP CHEM.</size>
It's a 3, but it's still passing.
Thank the lord. |
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[09 Apr 2007|09:48pm] |
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mood |
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 confused |
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I haven't posted an entry forever, and I see why. No one ever cmntz or anything, but this entry is mainly for me. Comment if you have something useful to say, it'll probably make me ecstatic.
I don't know where I'm going in life. I mean... physically, I'm going to college to study music composition. But what of that? After seeing and reading about whatever the fuck his name is from Winter Springs High School... I'm just another one of the mediocre composers that the bigshots look at as just a minute distraction before they get up to the audition table. I thought I was one of those people. There aren't many things worse than going from thinking you're among the best of your age to knowing you're not even close. It's like finding out you're... average. Because that's what I am... average. And being average is among the hardest falls off of a toadstool.
I'm going to talk about my friends now... because that's what got me to go here in the first place. I don't have any of my buddies that I rant with online right now (Geez Ashley <3), so I decided to come here, because I just needed to say something. I'm looking at really old logs, from 2005... and it really makes me sad. I talked to Brittani almost every day... I would have at one point considered her my best friend. She was always there for me and I was there for her, despite that I used some really terishit grammar and spelling, and was basically an idiot. It completely skipped over me the fact that she had a crush on me, but this post isn't about love or romance, because I've had about enough of girls clinging to me until college. I wish I had someone like what she used to be, now. The closest person I have is Liz, and Liz isn't a person I can be myself with anymore.
On that note, I can't really be myself with anyone anymore. I have to watch what I say and be a bit more fun with Liz, I have to watch what I say and not say anything that I feel could get our sides intertwined with Emily. Ashley, I have to conserve feelings. Nick, I have to be more random... and with all non-gay guys, I have to completely change my personality. It really sucks. Brittani was really a person where I could... let loose with. I didn't have to watch what I said, I didn't have to be careful of being clingy, because she didn't care a lot about our different views, or what I was on the inside. She was a true friend, one who actually liked me for who I was on the inside.
I don't know where she went, but I miss her.
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| New year. |
[31 Dec 2006|11:13pm] |
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music |
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Teeth of Lions Rule the Divine - New Pants and Shirt |
] |
2006 post. It's been an odd year, yes it has.
*I've stopped using LJ for the most part, obviously.
*My friendship with Emily is... mediocre.
*My friendship with Liz has never been better?
*Sexually, I've... done more than I have in the past.
*10th grade ended on a very boring note.
*11th grade was really fun for a little bit.
*I've been thinking a lot. About someone. And I hate it.
*I'm tired.
*My taste in music has expanded
*LJ has changed.
*My parents have become more drunk than ever.
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[22 Dec 2006|08:25am] |
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music |
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Red Sparowes - A Message of Avarice Rained Down Upon Us |
] |
So, basically... Angel Coma. It's a split LP of two of the greatest drone artists of all time, Sunn 0))) and Earth, and it seriously is the best Split LP I've ever heard.
Get it.
Download it.
Here:
http://bloodistruth.blogspot.com/2006/11/sunn-o.html
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[04 Dec 2006|05:42pm] |
Anyone get it?
If you do, you're automatically one of the coolest people ever.
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[12 Sep 2006|11:01pm] |
...
I just want to get out of High school.
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[11 Sep 2006|01:11pm] |
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mood |
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 geeky |
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music |
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Rhapsody - The Symphony of Enchanted Lands II |
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It was a good time for all creatures of the earth, but fate decreed that the dark prophecy of a demon knight could bring a tragic end to this peace scarring their lives forever. Shortly before his defeat in the last of the primordial wars between the heavens and hells the evil son of the Hell God Kron, known as Nekron, withdrew to his lair in the underworld. There, sensing his impending deathhe inscribed a testament of pure evil in seven black books. One by one six of these books were discovered through out the ages, however the seventh, last and most terrible of all contained the secret of his resurrection. He commanded seven immortal demons to carry out his dark plan. But they were turned into stone by the angels of the crystal realms. And so his dreams slept with them until a time came when the forces of evil would usurp the earth. Nekron would rule in the unholy name! of cosmic chaos. And this time he would reign supreme!
This album fucking rules.
I'll have to skip next Monday too.
Shit.
Next monday I get both of my pre-molars pulled. I'm basically gonna get some IV injection to get put out, and wake up half an hour later with Cotton in my mouth. Then I get headgear.
Joy.
My braces come out after the headgear is done, though.
Real joy.
What I have to do:
Memorize scene 1 of The Foreigner for my part. I can do that in one night of really trying.
EM1 homework. Oh man, I gotta draw Relative minor scales. =/
Start reading a book for American History project.
Finish pre-calc homework, make sure I know the law of cosines for the test.
Finish Chapter 10 of the AP chem thing.
That's not hard. I can do that.
Hooray.
People I love: Michelle, Emily, Liz, Alex Staropoli.
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[10 Sep 2006|10:48pm] |
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mood |
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 chipper |
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Sometimes you find someone really close to you who seems almost perfect, and you end up falling in love with them.
Well I found someone, really far away from me, who's completely perfect.
If only 1,286 miles didn't seperate us.
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[09 Sep 2006|04:50pm] |
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music |
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Sonata Arctica - Full Moon. |
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Happy birthday, Jani Liimatainen.
You shall continue to serenade the power metal fans with great guitar skills that don't require a skill in mustabation.
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[08 Sep 2006|09:29pm] |
So... yeah.
Emily's really sick, and I'm getting one of those "Why not me?" feelings, because she's sick. So very sick. Always.
Today was a pep rally. I decided to got hang out, run around, and scream with Oscar, rather than hanging out and sitting in the bleachers with Liz.
There was a little drama between Liz and I today. It got resolved.
I'm really getting agitated at Tony and Matt.
Extremely.
Tony.. it's hard to get mad at, since he's not so much an ass when he's not trying to impress Matt.
Matt's just an overall ass though. He has some sort of infatuation with my backpack, and if I'm not watching it at lunch, I go over to it, and it's filled with pizza, ketchup, milk cartons, and any other trash Matt can find.
Then again, he's not AS bad, when he's not around Tony.
Oh well.
In Emily's absense, I've had to basically... cling to someone else, and I think I picked Oscar. He and I joke in Chemistry now, because I actually get some of the things we're going over. I mean, I understood what we did in the lab today. AND, Ericka, Oscar and I actually did our lab correctly.
Huzzah!
I'm looking at Duke University a lot. Their composition school seems very awesome.
...Yeah.
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[31 Aug 2006|06:27am] |
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mood |
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sick |
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What a waste of a perfectly good Wednesday. :/
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[30 Aug 2006|01:47pm] |
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music |
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Genius - Dreams |
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New userpic.
If you know what it's from, you'll laugh.
Else, you'll probably just be wtfing all the way home.
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| I think it's finally official. |
[29 Aug 2006|08:11pm] |
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mood |
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content |
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music |
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Elvenking - The Dweller of Rhymes |
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I lost all contact with what was probably the best three years of my life.
Sigh.
Well, I guess Emily, Sam, Michelle, and Liz can make up for them.
That's another thing; I never really understood about why I have more friends in girls than guys. In middle school, I couldn't talk to girls. It just... wasn't my style. Now I...
I think I'm just weird.
I'm too weird for most guys to hang around with?
God I hate that.
I think Michelle put it best last night. She was talking with some random guys and they were just... being guys, and hitting on her.
After, she IMed me saying that it made her miss talking to me for the half an hour she was talking to them, and how she loved that I wasn't just the stereotypical guy.
I don't know if that's a good thing or not.
The way she meant it was a compliment, but... the I can take it, can probably be summed up by my love life.
Oh well.
The overall mood of this post it probably... apathetic. Like, this sucks, this rules, this sucks, but it doesn't really matter, because I have a crush on someone, and new crushes, before they have a chance to say "Sorry, no", take hold of one of the greatest feelings emotionally of all time. Oh, and no, it's not Sam, Liz, or Emily.
:o
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[28 Aug 2006|05:57pm] |
Anyone know a good way of getting a real IQ test, besides the test to get into MENSA?
I do want to try to get into MENSA, but I just... want to reassure myself that I'm not a complete dumbass.
My IQ, as of my last test = 117.
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[25 Aug 2006|04:17pm] |
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music |
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UneXpect - Summoning Scenes. |
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I've come to the conclusion.
I will never be attracted to a girl who doesn't share the same music taste that I do. It may be closed minded, but I feel it's right. Everyone has something like that, don't they?
Unfortunately, what girl will I find who loves UneXpect, Summoning, Blind Guardian, and the like?
Well, there's Michelle.
I really hope I don't fuck things up with Michelle.
I want something to work.
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